Trying Not to Eat...

As mentioned before...I am an emotional eater. I eat when I'm sad, mad, happy, etc.

Right now...I'm so frustrated and I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and useless when I can't help. And then I feel like I can't offer anything. I also feel pushed away. I know I can't help and there's nothing I can do, but just being there can help. It brings up questions in my mind that I'm afraid to ask. It frustrates me knowing I can't help someone I love. And feeling like sometimes I'm being pushed away...

...But, the thing is...I can't always help those I love...and I have to be there when they need me and back off when they don't...As frustrating as it is for me...I know it is even more frustrating for them. I want them to know that I'm not going anywhere...I'm here for the long haul and I have no regrets about it.

My bf has some health issues and is going through a really tough time right now. He can't sleep and it makes everything worse when you can't sleep. It's tough on him. And I can't help him sleep. I don't know what I can do. I want him to be healthy and get better, but I don't know what else he can do. He's tried everything and nothing is working. I'm useless and helpless. And if I feel that way about myself...he will see that about me too. :S I'm scared for him and what it is doing to him. He says that I'm young and should be able to live my life and not have to take care of him. But, I love him and to quote Kelly Clarkson..."my life would suck without you." I want him in my life and you just don't give up on people you love. My life is with him. I gave up a lot to be with him...and giving up even more when we finally move...And...I don't regret any of that and I won't. Because when it comes down to it, I'm happy. I'm happy with him, even when I get cranked at because he's tired and not sleeping. I just wish there was something I could do...I know he loves me. He'll kiss me as I'm falling asleep just to tell me that and tell me I'm beautiful. I just wish he would realize that he doesn't have to do everything on his own...

**I never needed anyone to make me happy and still don't. I'm perfectly happy on my own too. I'm a firm believer that if I can't be happy on my own, I can't be happy with anyone. But, he makes me happy too and I love him for it.**

Unfortunately for me though...all these feelings tend to make me eat. I have no idea why we turn to food for comfort when we are feeling down...but we do. Food is always around us...and I reach for it when I'm stressed, sick, sad, frustrated, mad, and sometimes even happy. When I overeat, especially with unhealthy stuff, I feel worse. I feel healthy when I eat right and exercise. But when I don't, I feel worse about myself and things in general...that I reach for it again...

Why do we do that?

K