Finally...

updating.

So here we go. How did Christmas go? Well...it went. Christmas itself, I didn't over eat too much. But it was the after math. I ate all the left overs. I didn't work out much and just ate. Disappointing. I didn't get weighed in yet. I will get weighed in on Saturday. I over ate a little bit today, but tracked it all and moving on.

I'm an emotional eater. I'm stressed out with work. I'm in a bit of a rut. I feel stuck and just want to get out of here and start my life. My bf and I are planning on moving in a couple of months. Hopefully it'll pan out this time and we can start our life.

One reason why I feel kind of in a rut is because a lot of my friends are getting engaged, married, and/or having babies. I don't know if I want that. I used to. Well, babies I was always iffy on. But I feel like it's weird that I don't want that or not sure. I'm not content to just stay in one spot and live on welfare or unemployment. I want to experience things. The bf and I have talked about marriage and he knows right now I'm anti-marriage because of the stress of my best friend's wedding. But...when I think about marrying him...and when he had his arms around me and called me his wife, it felt right. But do we really need to have a wedding to be together? We'll be living together. Paying bills and rent together...so like I don't get it. Why the need for everyone to get married? At the same time, I think it's romantic. I'd want it to be somewhere quiet and a few people or just witnesses. I don't know...I've been thinking about it a lot lately because a lot of my friends are doing it. **shrugs** what happens, happens. I live my life for me. And I can't worry about what other people are doing. If me and my bf decide to get married, it'll be for us...not because we feel we have too.

But, for what this blog is really about. I'm knuckling down. Have to continue to work out. I'm not enjoying it really. I'm doing it because I have too. I can't wait for the river to freeze over and then I can go skating. I wish the pool was open at the Y, I would swim. I just need to find a love for working out. I enjoyed it before. Now it's just to find that love again. It's a vicious cycle. I'm in a rut and not motivated...until I find a way out of this rut...I'm going to have trouble working out and eating right. But, I will do it. I can and will.