Long Time

I've been a bit mia lately. A lot has been happening. First off... I made some Mac and Cheese yesterday that was in the Sept. - Oct. issue of the Weight Watchers magazine. I made it before and really like it. This time, instead of tomatoes, I added mushrooms. I really like it. It is a little bland, so I might add some more spice or pepper. I also didn't have all the cheese I needed, so that could've been it too. So if I add mushrooms again, I need to make up for flavor. I also made Ooey-Gooey Chocolate Cherry Muffins from Hungry Girl Book 1, page 177. Second time I made them. They are really good. I like warming them up and putting some fat free Cool Whip on them. Anyway, they are really good if you want something chocolate and cakey. Yummy! Packed full of fiber too. :D

So...what has been going on in my life lately...well...my boyfriend was in the hospital for a few days. He has MS and it was taking a toll on his physical and mental health, so he decided to go in. Which of course means I was upset and stressed out, and I ate. And I ate. Not good for my waist line...or my sanity. I worry a lot about him and finally got him to realize that I'm here for him for the long haul. That just because he has MS and his health is up in the air...and yes it is stressful...that I'm going to leave him. He is the guy I want to be with and as long as he wants me in his life, I'll be there. I love him because he makes me happy and makes me laugh. And when he kisses me or puts his arms around me, I still get butterflies. And to me, even if he ends up in a wheelchair, I'm still going to be there.

Anyway, I got weighed in on Saturday...not great. I'm 4 lbs over my goal. I've discovered something. Okay...wait...first, I bought a 3 month journal and a key chain clicker to help me keep track. I'm going to be so anal with it at first because I haven't tracked in awhile, but if I eat it, I'm going to click it right away...and write it down as soon as I get a chance. My boyfriend's mother was like that could drive you crazy. And I know, but the clicker helped when I was eating Halloween candy. Everytime I had one, I clicked it down. It really helped because I could easily be like "did I have four???? no I only had two." and really had like 5. So this way, I know what I ate. And soon, I'll be able to do just write things down at night or when I can. Or if I know what I'm going to have, I can write it down all before.

Which brings me to planning. I can't plan because I don't know where I'm going to be for supper half the time. A lot of times I'm at my boyfriend's. And I'm a vegetarian, so I'm careful with what I eat anyway because if it came into contact with meat, I can get sick. I'm not a vegan, but I don't eat chicken or fish. I eat eggs and drink milk. I don't eat much at his place and I'm sure his parents and him think I'm anoxeric or way too anal about healthy eating. I know my boyfriend thinks I eat like a bird. But, there's two reasons why I don't eat a lot at his house...or others really. The first is I'm so careful what goes into my mouth. Everyone knows I'm a vegetarian and on Weight Watchers, but sometimes using the same spoon to stir a meat free dish and a meat dish will make me sick. Also, I don't want to ask exactly how it was prepared, so I can account for it. Second, I don't want to be a burden and ask for more if I didn't have enough. Even though they are like family to me and I know I can do that. I can go into their fridge and get anything I want, but I don't like doing that. I don't do it at anyone's house, except like my best friend's. And I don't even do it much at her place, usually only for drinks or I bring my own food because she never has vegetarian food. Anyway, back to what I discovered. If I don't eat enough when I'm out and about, I eat way too much when I come home. I knew this before, but it was confirmed yesterday. I ate way too much! And then I was like...screw this, the extra Halloween chocolate is going into the freezer. And I haven't touched it yet. :D So, as much as I hate asking for more, I'm going to have to start eating more there. I can be careful with what I eat there, they always have plenty of vegetables. Because if I don't, it's going to be worse for my weight loss and maintaining.

Anyway, I'm going to go work out. I'm getting back on track. I have to work on asking for help and food. And I can't ignore writing when I'm feeling stressed. So here's to some better times.

K